I’m reading an old episode of O Magazine and I came across an article about famous women who wrote letters to their younger selves. I thought that sounded like a great idea. So here goes:

Dear 25 year old Jessica:

First things first. Stop looking for your passion. Get that whole idea out of your head. There’s nothing to find. You’re going to have to create it. You’re good at a lot of things, so take a minute to see what you like and then spend time cultivating that talent. No matter what you decide to do for a living, there are going to be days when you don’t feel like going to work. That doesn’t mean that you should be doing something else. That means that you are normal. So go to work anyway.

Second, don’t fad diet. It never lasts and you will gain back everything you lost plus more. Instead just eat less at every meal and don’t eat when you’re not hungry. You might just be bored. Get up and go for a walk or do something interesting. If you just eat consciously, and pay attention to your body, you don’t have to diet. Dieting doesn’t work. Don’t do it.

Your life is going to be a mirror looking back at you. If you look at your life and find that there are things that aren’t good, put energy there and fix them. Don’t blame anyone else for your failures. Own them. And work on them until they are better. Don’t let the pressures to be perfect keep you from moving. Don’t freeze. Just do little things with love and your life will be in balance. When it goes out of balance, love it back in place. Everything is possible with love. Everything.

When you meet adderall, run. Seriously. Put it down and fucking run. Even though on the other side of it you gained wisdom and you are stronger, it’s not worth the toll it’s had on your body, mind and soul. Run away. You do not have adult ADD. You just like amphetamines. Seriously, run.

Stop trying to fix things with your mom. It’s not going to work. You’re going to hate her for a while, and that’s ok, but when you’re done, you have to forgive. For you. Not for her. And then you have to heal. Don’t let it fester and grow and become bitter. She is bitter enough for both of you. Don’t let her sickness pass on to the next generation. Use what you’ve learned from her and be a better mother, a better mother in law, a better grandmother because of it. That is how you will heal. Love your girls and never do to them what she did to you. Let her go. Not just physically, but spiritually. Grieve and then let her go.

And lastly, but most importantly, have fun with this life. Stop worrying about things that didn’t get done or cleaned or checked off the list. Enjoy life and go through with a light heart. It goes so fast and you can’t get back the days that are over, so be there, present and in the moment to enjoy and experience all of it. Good and bad. Love on those babies and be lighthearted with them. They are EVERYTHING.

Get to know yourself and fall in love with yourself. More than you love anyone else in the whole world. Love you. And then take that love that you have for you and share it with everyone you meet. Use it to do good things. That will make you happier than anything you can ever own.

Sincerely,

39 year old you.