At her 39th week doctor visit, Jasmine’s doctor was convinced that it was
time for Josiah to come into the world. Her blood pressure had gone up a couple
times and she was really miserable and feeling sick, so Dr. Jackson made the
decision to induce beginning with softening her cervix that evening. She called
me and I immediately began packing my things and preparing for the hospital
stay. I had decided on a moon spell for easy childbirth and my plan was to
gather my items one by one over the next day or two so that when he arrived, I
would be ready. But I was too late. I searched my house for a pink and blue
candle, I needed two gemstones I didn’t have, I was shaking all over, very
nervous and rushing around. I walked into my office and went over the list of
items and instructions for the spell. I was not in a calm place and I knew that
this was not the way this spell should be cast. I closed my book and my eyes. I
stood in the middle of my office, where I had cast my birthday spell exactly
one week before. I had a knowing that the tools were not necessary for this
spell. The magic was in me, the tools are just accessories. I breathed in
deeply and calmed myself. “This baby will arrive safely, calmly, healthy.
Neither my daughter nor her baby will suffer or endure pain, emotional or
physical. This will be an easy, peaceful, beautiful delivery. This is my wish,
so mote it be.” I said out loud and I felt the inside of my chest expand
and a tear ran down my face. It was done. I finished packing my bags, hugged
Brad really tightly and ugly cried into his chest for a good five minutes. Then
I wiped my face and headed out the door.

We arrived at the hospital on the night of September 14th around 8pm. We
were escorted into the Labor and Delivery room 4, across from the nurse’s
station and they started Jasmine on some drugs to soften her cervix and help
progress labor along. She was hooked up to a few monitors and an IV and we
settled in for the duration. Matt left to get us Chick-fil-A for dinner, and we
watched some tv and hung out while Jasmine peed every few minutes for the
remainder of the evening. I finally settled down on the sofa around midnight
and tried to get some rest, although in a hospital setting such as this, that’s
not really an option. Around 7 the next morning, I woke up to the doctor coming
in to explain how she was going to start the pitocin drip and that soon it would
be time to walk around and try to get the baby moving. By this time Jasmine was
having pretty strong contractions and her cervix had gone from a 1 to a 3cm and
almost 90% effaced. She was definitely going into labor! With our help, she got
out of bed and Matt and I helped her walk down one hall and then another.
Because of Covid we weren’t allowed to roam the halls and be free like you
usually are in these situations, we were mostly confined to the room, but I
made them let her walk around, at least a little. While we were walking,
Josiah’s heartbeat dropped in a way that the nurses didn’t like at all. They
came in and checked her and decided that she was better being still, since he
was having a hard time with the speed of the progress and the medicines. The
doctor checked her again and she was at 6cm! She was progressing really fast.
Because of this and her pain levels, she asked for the epidural. This was about
8:30 in the morning. The doctor explained to us how we needed to see Josiah’s
heart stabilize or we would be talking about a c-section soon. She left us to
go perform another c-section, and told us that we needed to spend the next hour
deciding if we would like her to break Jasmine’s water and watch to see how her
labor progressed, or if we would rather be safe and just go with the c-section.
As she shut the door, I looked at Jasmine and saw her face grimace, indicating
she was having a pretty hard contraction. I walked over and said “here
baby, grab my hand”. I touched my hand to hers and a very surprised look
came over her face. “My water just broke!” she said. And we all
laughed out loud…I guess Josiah made that decision for us!

After the epidural took over, she was completely relaxed and even fell
asleep. Hours went by with the doctors coming in every so often to roll her
over to the other side or move the monitors to hear the baby better. She slept
through all of it. Snoring, oblivious that her body was in full on labor. The
doctor checked her again at around noon and she was at 9.5cm and the baby’s
head was so low, she felt his head to see how much hair he had. Turns out it
was a lot! Matt and I started to get nervous, the baby is coming very soon! I
started texting people and getting excited. The clock ticked on and she slept
and slept. Because of his unstable heart rate, they stopped all of the cervix
drugs and the pitocin altogether, and gave her an IV drip of fluids only.
Josiah did not like being rushed, and he was not tolerating it at all. “Time to
slow things down and let this baby take over” was the doctor’s exact words. At
the last turning, they finally found the position that Josiah liked, he stopped
having drops in his heart rate and all of his vitals were “textbook
beautiful” according to the nurse. So they decided to let him stay for a
while, see if he would drop on his own. Jasmine came out of it for a minute to
eat a popsicle, or have some water, and then quickly drifted back to sleep.
During the night before and all of this day, I diffused essential oils with
lavender and eucalyptus and had ambient light from the diffuser changing the
color of the room softly and slowly. We had an LSDream playlist from Ashley
playing in the background with soft, beautiful messages about love, and being
grateful for being alive, and the beauty of life and love and the universe and
Ram Dass saying Love everyone and tell the truth. Every nurse that came in
remarked on how amazing it smelled and how calming the energy was. At one
point, I lined up all of the crystals we bought for Jasmine and Josiah along
the curve of her leg and up her belly to her heart. I did reiki on the baby
through her belly and talked to him about what was about to happen. I read his
cards and pulled his birth chart and Matt and I talked about the most amazing,
deep, beautiful things. About our families, and how we’ve healed and how this
experience is going to be so different than his last, just like what happened
to me and Brad with Oliver. It was a really amazing, beautiful day. Jasmine
slept through all of it.

Finally, the nurse came back in around 3pm, checked her cervix and said, “ok,
it’s gone, it’s go time!” We got so excited! She had Jasmine push to make sure
that it was really time, and it was, so she left to go get the doctor. While we
waited, I pulled out the cards that the people who attended her baby shower had
written to her for me to read at that exact moment. There were funny ones, and
beautiful ones, we cried and laughed. I danced and sang “Push it REAL
GOOD!!” for Deanna, our neighbor. It was the perfect way to pass that
incredibly intense moment. We waited and waited, while Jasmine said he felt
like he was literally right there, coming out of her. I watched the clock tick
by, and at about 3:45, I realized what was happening. I had literally been
consumed by the number 4 for the last week! Since my birthday, when I turned
44! I bought 4 magnets to signify the day. We were in Room 4, and this baby was
waiting for 4:00! I told Jasmine and Matt and we busted out laughing. He’s been
calling the shots this whole time, and he’s waiting for 4:00! The doctor came
in with a baby nurse and another nurse, a photographer and another person to
help with something, I don’t know, it was a lot of people! I watched the clock
tick by as she put her mask on, and her gloves…{3:54}…she walked over to
the bed, had Jasmine grab her legs and bear down to
push…3….2…1…{3:58}… Jasmine looked up at me, said “I love you
mom!” and I kissed her forehead, brushed her hair back and grabbed her
hand…The doctor had her grab her legs…”This is it!” she
said…and Jasmine pushed 3…2…1…and out came Josiah in a big, wet,
purpley, goopy glop! I screamed “There’s our baby!” I looked at my
watch- 4:04. Stop. The nurse will eventually write 4:05 on his birth
certificate, she went by the old clunky analog clock on the wall! But there
isn’t a doubt in my mind, and I know completely with all of my being, that baby
arrived at 4:04 and probably 44 seconds…and no one will ever tell me
different for the rest of my days. Whatever is written on a piece of paper
makes no difference to the universe.

There was so much love in that room when he came in. Matt and I had been
talking all day about how much he loved Jasmine and our families and just all
the love for each other. We were crying and loving each other as he came out,
it was so much love, the nurses asked if they could use my essential oils to go
calm some of the other people in the other rooms, because they weren’t having
as magical a time as us. I watched him latch onto his mommy in the exact same
way that she did to me. They are the same, the two of them. I was an erratic,
crazy, hot ass mess and she is a calm, peaceful deep presence. And so is he.
His chart showed me all I need to know about this boy. He is a Virgo sun with a
Capricorn moon and a Capricorn rising. I’ve never seen a chart with all three
in earth signs. I am going to calculate the odds of that. 1/12 times 3 or
something…but I bet it is rare. Earth, Earth, Earth. I’ve said all month that
this earth energy is suffocating me, burying me, earth earth earth. This boy’s
entrance to this world was POWERFUL and I have been feeling it since the new
moon! The VIRGO NEW MOON under which I performed my first spell. The earth
energy is FIERCE in this space right now. Grounding, stable, rooted, deep,
natural, complete. He is our Virgo boy…the only one in a week of Virgo women.
That’s a big undertaking for a little baby boy…his cards say he’s up to it.
Little magic baby. Born of 4’s within HOURS of the exact day, 22 years ago that
I delivered his mother. I was 22 then, she is 22 today. We are 44. All the
things.